for me has been long nights of obsessing over finding “healthy” foods to eat and exercise regimes but for some reason, I can’t bring myself to actually do any of them. It’s not exactly that I lack will power or anything like that. I feel like it might just be that I’m not as uncomfortable with myself as I probably should be, but is that such a bad thing? Sure, my ass and thighs are huge and its a bitch to find jeans that fit in all of the right places but it could be worse. I don’t consider myself to be terribly unhealthy; I love fruits and vegetables just as much (if not more) as I like sweets. I can exercise for an hour without feeling like I want to die (this may not seem like much, but if you saw the endurance or lack thereof some of my skinny friends have….it rules). Sometimes I feel like the reason I can’t do this is because I don’t want to. That I’m only making these changes because I feel like I have to, or else I’ll never be happy in this society. 

Maybe instead of spending my time trying to change myself, I need to spend more time learning to love myself. Maybe this way, everything I’ve been waiting for will fall right into place.